FUNNY MALAYSIAN AUTHORS

MISS HOPEFUL & THE ELUSIVE MANUSCRIPT

Writer: May I speak to the editor?
Editor: You are speaking to him.
Writer: I was asked to talk to you to have my book published?
Editor: Why don’t you email me your manuscript?
Writer: I am a good writer, though I don’t write English very well!
Editor: Why don’t you email me your manuscript and let me decide that?
Writer: Do you think you could get it translated into Chinese for the China [Chinese] market?
Editor: Why don’t you email me your manuscript?
Writer: Do you think you can get my book translated into other languages as well?
Editor: Why don’t you email me your manuscript?
Writer: I am quite free, you know. I am able to travel all over the world to talk about my book.
Editor: But first, why don’t you email me your manuscript and let me take a look at it?
Writer: I was advised not to send my book to a vanity press in America. Do you think I should have my book published that way?
Editor: Publishers can only publish so many books. Most manuscripts are rejected for many, many reasons, some obvious, some not so obvious. If no publisher wants to publish your book, and if you are adamant about having it published, then you go to a vanity press. You get what you pay for, get it!
Writer: What about a self-publisher?
Editor: You mean you want to publish it yourself?
Writer: No, I want to give it to a self-publisher?
Editor: And who is this self-publisher? Yourself?
Writer: My book is really good, you know? No writer has ever done what I have done!
Editor: You have read many books, I presume.
Writer: No, not really. I don’t really read that much. I just want to be a writer.
Editor: Why don’t you email me your manuscript?
Writer: Was it you I spoke to a year ago?
Editor: No, I don’t think so. [It was me, of course.]
Writer: Strange! He has the same name as you! Is there anyone else with the same name as you?
Editor: No. However, you could have spoken to my alter ego from some other dimension!
Writer: What?
Editor: Nothing!
Writer: Do you know the person I spoke to last year? I want to thank him. He gave me some very good advice.
Editor: What advice?
Writer: He said I should write first if I want to be a writer.
Editor: Wow! That’s real profound. That must have been a life-changing experience for you!
Writer: Yes, it was.
Editor: I am really happy for you.
Writer: So, can you publish my book?
Editor: Why don’t you email me your manuscript? [Oh, this is going to be a long day!]
Writer: Do you have a marketing team to sell my book all over the world?
Editor: We have one but I don’t think we need one to sell your book.
Writer: Will my book be available in London, New York and Sydney?
Editor: No!
Writer: Why?
Editor: Because it hasn’t been published!