Monday, August 24, 2009

You know what they say about humour

Ghostwriter: Would it be possible for me to include another foreword in the book?
Editor: You already have two forewords, you know.
Ghostwriter: Is there some kind of rule or something that says you cannot have more than one foreword in a book?
Editor: Normally there is only one foreword for one book. There’re exceptions, of course: for such non-books as yours, there’re really no rules. You make and remake rules as you please. You may have 10 forewords if you want.
Ghostwriter: So, it is all right then?

Poet: I would like you to publish my poetry.
Editor: Before I thank you for the honour of doing that, I will need to take a look at your poetry.
Poet: And before I allow you to take a look at my poetry, I would like to know how much I will gain from this publishing deal. Do I get an advance? How much?
Editor: Of course, if you write as well as or better than T.S. Eliot, Seamus Heaney or Ted Hughes, I will publish your work. No questions asked. But then, if you do write like them, you would most probably get it published by Faber & Faber in the U.K. And no, we do not give advances for work we have yet to see. Would you like to email a sample of your work to me?
Poet: I’m afraid I can’t do that. My work is copyrighted and I’m afraid it may fall into the wrong hands.
Editor: Then let me wish you the best!


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