Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Hopeless Side of Malaysian Publishing

IT HAS BEEN SOME TIME, so here’s more of what we enjoy most! Oh, yes, they are all Malaysians, by the way! Sad but true.

Author: I know the prime minister, you know. We go a long long way back.
Editor: Yes, I am really happy for you and all that, BUT we still need a manuscript to produce a book, you know.
Author: Oh, I will think about it, then.
Editor: Yes, you should seriously think about it.

Author: Have you a one- or two-page guide to publishing a book? I don’t want to read anything too long, okay?
Editor: I have written a guide to publishing a book, but it’s about five or six pages long. Is that all right?
Author: I just want something short and easy to read. Nothing fancy, you know what I mean.
Editor: Have you completed a manuscript or something?
Author: Not really. I am such a good talker, so I don’t think writing a book is such a huge problem for me. I just need to know the process of getting it published, that’s all.
Editor: Wow, I can’t wait to read it!

Author: My manuscript is perfect. There is very minimal editing to be done. In fact, I don’t think you need to edit it at all.
Editor: Even the best books require some editing.
Author: You really dont’t have to edit my book. Let’s publish it as it is. Let the public decide whether it is good or bad.
Editor: Why don’t you self-publish it since, as you said, it is such a perfect book.


“I have a lot of stories inside me, all bursting to get out. All I need is a writer to help me put these stories into words. Know anyone who is interested in this job?” Anonymous

“My God, the amount of time we waste editing horrible manuscripts.” Anonymous

“Don’t worry, be selfish. There’s nothing wrong about being selfish?” Anonymous

“Why do books move so slowly?” Anonymous

“Don’t be a pain. Respect others. And don’t be arrogant. After all, one day we will all be pushing up daisies, whether we like it or not.” Anonymous

“You can’t save the world.” Anonymous

“What if nobody buys my book?” Anonymous

“I have just completed editing a horrible manuscript. It’s still horrible even after all the editing I’ve done. I can’t wait to edit another one!” Anonymous

“Why do bookshops have such bad sound systems?” Anonymous

“I am almost half a century old ... and I still have no idea what’s the point of my life.” Anonymous

“I want to be on the cover of Quill.” Anonymous


Anonymous Anonymous said...

most hilarious!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 5:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, I have met those good talkers before. They are hilarious!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 4:26:00 PM  
Anonymous manglish said... hilariously pathetic!

Thursday, July 23, 2009 9:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eric, I am sure you have more than this! Upload more...

Thursday, July 23, 2009 11:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is indeed a sad world we are living in when people actually advise others to do things we were taught not to do when we were young.

Monday, July 27, 2009 4:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, the devil is always on the look-out for talented individuals to fill lots of vacancies in hell :)

Monday, July 27, 2009 4:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What does 'pushing up daisies' mean?

Monday, July 27, 2009 6:46:00 AM  
Blogger Eric Forbes said...

That's an idiom. It means being dead.

Monday, July 27, 2009 6:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somebody's got to do the devil's work, I guess. There's always a long line of people willing to do the devil's bidding. Do people still practise their religions nowadays? Just curious.

Monday, July 27, 2009 4:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Alexandra Wong said...

LOL I hope they are reading this!!!

Anonymous: try watching the whimsical series Pushing Daisies :)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009 6:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I want to be on the cover of Quill."
Hmmm, I wonder who are these people?

Hee hee hee =p

Monday, August 03, 2009 2:40:00 AM  

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